yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
