bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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