It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
