Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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