Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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