It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
