"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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