You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
