Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
