I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
