we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
