I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
