all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
