i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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