I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
