did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
