Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
