You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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