i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
