my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just want nice things and good sex
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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