only if we run a train.
done.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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