It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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