I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
