I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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