Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
