Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
