Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
