either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
