After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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