This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
nutella sex= disaster
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
