I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
