What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize