bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
