I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
