There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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