wakey wakey hands off snakey
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
