i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
