a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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