i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
