Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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