Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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