an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
