we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
