Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I understand Curling. That high.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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