is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
