see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
