Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
