remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
