I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
