I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
