i think my mom watched the whole time
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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