Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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